A Writer's Evolution - Growing through expression
Recently I was looking through past writings of mine and stumbled upon an article I wrote over ten years ago for The African magazine. This article was on the topic of polygamy. The general gist of the article was me indicating my fears about the surplus women in single circles compared to the men - and how that benefits men who are polygamous. Not surprisingly this article went viral in the Nigerian blogosphere as the male readers ate it up!
As a person of Nigerian/African descent, polygamy as a practice is something that I am not against. If my ancestors hadn't practiced it, I wouldn't be here. But since the article, I have grown tremendously. I have grown to accept different forms of love and relationships as long as they are healthy and consensual. I have also grown to be more of an advocate for women. Needless to say, I do not regret the truths indicated in the article, but I do to a certain extent regret the tone of it. I was in my twenties. It was my first writing gig for an online publication, and I felt I needed to prove myself by being controversial. If I had to do it all over again, I would have written it differently, in a way that empowers women of African descent who exist in a society that is still predominantly patriarchal. Also, back then I thought being single and in your 20's was the end of the world. Now I know better - singleness can be amazing just as coupledom. It's about what works for you at the end of the day. As Writers this is the cross we bear sometimes, having to make mistakes publicly. It is the price we pay for being transparent, for baring our souls for the sake of reaching others. But I am also learning that it is okay to grow, to relearn in the creative process. That because I wrote something today doesn't mean I can't have a deeper understanding ten years later of the very same idea. We are also all at different stages, and perhaps that polygamy article made some people chuckle or offended others. Either way, it has allowed me to see how much I have grown since then, which is a gift in itself.
Ebele Chizea
